Oh to be a Bumbershoot

I wish I was a bumbershoot. What word in the whole world is better than "bumbershoot?" You're right, there isn't one. What a nice life would it be? Here is a picture of a bumbershoot.

Sure, you'd be getting rained on all the time, but that's what you'd be made for. Made to withstand it. Every time your life purpose was put to the test, you'd come out on top: Yup, still waterproof.

What do superheroes do? Protect people. So do bumbershoots.