Morgan's Life as of April 29, 2010 4:01 pm

I'm not really sure on the reason you read my blog.. You may enjoy the random videos I put up; maybe you feel obligated because you are a fellow blogger and I follow your blog. or maybe you want to stay updated on my life. If the latter is your reason, yay for you! I am at work and don't want to do my homework and don't have anything to say. So, here's my life as of today.

Spring semester has started! I have a writing assignment due on Tuesday and my first exam next weekend. I'm taking 10 class hours of inorganic chemistry a week, with a recommended outside-of-class-time totaling 18 hours. This is for a regular week. Every other week I'll have an exam that will require . . . a lot more time. It's okay, don't be jealous, I'm sure you could think of at least something in your life that is as fun, although you can't boast 30+ hours like I can.

I realize that was a little sarcastic. I actually am excited.. I'm kind of antsy to do really well and prove to myself that I can regardless of past experiences that may indicate otherwise.

Luckily chem is my only class besides dissection. I know to all of you it sounds odd and weird, but I am very excited about it. It's the optional follow-up course to anatomy, which you know I am pretty passionate about :) I'll only be TAing in the anatomy lab 3 hours a week, much less than the usual 8 hours, so this will be good.

I'm continuing to work at Continuing Education Registration, where I register people for conferences, independent study, etc. I'll work here Mon-Fri, about 17-18 hours a week. And I now have a second job as a CNA. Don't have many details on that since I've just started, but it'll be good for PA school, which requires paid medical experience.

So it's going to be a pretty busy semester, but I'm excited! I am going to work hard so I can have more spare time. I love Spring semesters because they're so much more laid-back and intimate.

Other plans for the summer? Read. Guitar. Piano. Running. You. Fun! Sounds great, huh? If ever you want to do something, let me know! I'm trying to use my time better so I have more time for friends. If it's been a while, let's change that!

The Beautiful Blogger Award

I was very flattered to receive the Beautiful Blogger Award from a friend, Tara. She befriended me in a CNA training course a year ago and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know the amazing, incredibly friendly, hard-working mother of two beautiful children. Thanks, Tara!! As part of the award, I am to list 7 things about myself and then award another beautiful blog. Fun! I tried to come up with things that would be surprises to you readers who know me well. But then I realized I tend to share everything about myself, so don't really have any surprises! So instead, here are seven random things about me :

1. I love painted furniture. And I love beautiful cabinets and the smell of sawdust.

2. I have a scar on my clavicle from a popcorn kernel.

3. I can't read a book without a pencil in my hand in case I come across something beautiful

4. I think most things are funny. That sole person you hear chuckling quietly to themselves every now and then during movies to parts no one else laughs at? me. The person you pass on campus who is laughing to themselves? me. The person who laughs at anyone's jokes? me. The person next to you in the library who is laughing while reading their textbook? yup, me.

5. I am rarely more infatuated and awed than when watching the Ballet.

6. I love people

7. I LOVE: to keep my fingernails as short as physically possible and HATE: doritos, ranch dressing, and intermissions

Welp, that's a little about me.. I now hereby award The Beautiful Blogger Award to the sweet Miss Mary and her blog, Love, Life, and all that is Good and Holy. Not only is she a blogger who is beautiful, but her blog is beautiful as well. Her blogs are always uplifting, hopeful, and honest in her optimism and testimony. Mary reminds us to be happy for the small things in life. She reminds me to learn to love more and more as time goes by. Thanks, Mary, for your motivating blog!

Embrace Life

Beautiful! This is an online ad that started in the UK. Apparently, the man who made it wasn't hired to do so, but was just passionate about it. I only heard that from one source, though, and didn't see it anywhere on the internet, so not sure if it's true.. But it's beautiful anyway.

C’était dur, mais cette classe me manquera!

I love to write. For so many reasons. Today, I am writing for two in particular: as a means of watering down my intense feelings and to inform you of something wonderful. Writing style today: freestyle. I love free-writing, just writing whatever comes to my mind. And that's what I feel like today. Sorry if it's a little unorganized; you can ignore this post and tune in next time for a more polished post if that's what you like :)

I feel weird. You know that terrible terrible feeling you have when you finish a great book? That's how I feel. Except it's more than just finishing the average good book. You can always pick up the book and read it again, which brings some comfort to its completion . . . But do you remember how you felt when you finished the last Harry Potter book? That's how I feel. Ya, you can pick it up again and read it, but you won't ever be able to read new Harry Potter text. No more surprising Potter plotlines, no more characters, no new funny happenings. When i finished the seventh book, I think I just kind of existed around the house for a few days. It was so sad! Just this feeling of helplessness. Now what am I going to do?

Well, today's a repeat of that. French 321 is over. I just took my final and then kind of wandered aimlessly on campus for a while before I had to go to work. Yes, I will continue in the language, but French 321 is done, as is its fantastic teacher. I have to admit, I'm very surprised by this . . . [feeling]ness. It's a hard feeling to describe. I don't think I'm sad . . . no, I am. But I'm also happy; but it's a weird happy.. I appreciate the good times I had, but now it's gone..

French is hard. The grammar's always made any French class difficult, but this class especially since it's titled Advanced Grammar. This is the class where those of us who have struggled through learning French on paper are thrown into a class with those who have been immersed in the language for two years with the catalytic help of our Heavenly Father. Yes, the return missionaries. I was pretty nervous, sure they would all find me stupid. Throw on top of it that I would have the department's hardest teacher, a true Française. She wrote my previous textbook and oversees all student French teachers.

But I was wrong. The return missionaries were kind and really respected that I had gotten to this point just through books. And my teacher was incredibly understanding and supportive as I struggled through. There was a ton of information, but she was great at showing us how to simplify it all. She told us at the beginning of the class that it would be hard, but that she guaranteed results. Well, she was right. I've learned so much. I'm really sad to leave the grammar behind (who am I kidding, it's never left behind, but you know what I mean..) because I feel like there's still so much more I need to learn; I'm kind of tempted to pull out the grammar book for fun and peruse through it; it feels like an old friend, its covers all bent, pages scribbled with charts and hints, spine creased . . . But more than the course, I'm sad to leave the people. I've made some friends in that class. And even the people who didn't necessarily become friends. I've seen a few of them on campus and they always stop and we talk for 5-10 minutes.

There was a cheese night a bunch of us attended in order to get one of four required cultural activities. I looked frantically around for people I knew and saw no one. The girl I was with had to take off and I found myself sitting with people I didn't know. And then, to the rescue! came some of the guys from my class. People I didn't really know very well. But we all sat together and had a great time. So many laughs throughout the semester. It was just a very warm class. I hope to see them all in future classes, but know it will never be the same group. Sad. A warm class, that was the perfect descriptor. And of course, I will miss the teacher who taught us well and also got to know us, who had us sing God Be With You Till We Meet Again (en français, of course) at the final, and who invited us to her house for a FHE/end of the semester party. Such good times.

Well, that's where I'm at...

I hope you don't mind future posts that may come in french. I do love it so

A Dream of Someone Else

SPOILER WARNING FOR "YOU'VE GOT MAIL"

One of my favorite movies of all time is "You've Got Mail." I love the actors and the characters, the filming and the written communication laced throughout. And I love love love the story. I love the idea of falling in love through writing.

There comes a point when Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) and Frank Navasky (Greg Kinnear) break their long-term relationship. They spend a while talking about a woman Frank is interested in. He then asks Kathleen, "What about you? Is there someone else?" She pauses, looks out the window, and says, "There is a dream of someone else.." And a shy, little smile slides up her cheek.

I have not had much experience in relationships. I am very picky, I'll admit. But not consciously. I don't write off a person because he doesn't play the piano or because he doesn't play sports or because his style is too casual. You laugh, but it's not uncommon out here for people to check of someone who's fantastic and perfect for them simply because they're lacking in some trait off of a list. It's not that I ignore feelings for someone because he's not everything I dreamed I'd have. I just don't feel it; he's just not right for me. I've tried to force it, tried to make myself feel something. And that's worse for him and for me than if I'd have just told him I wasn't interested.

Well, I have a dream of someone else.

The kids start to get antsy when they know he'll be home soon. And immediately after he walks through the door, he scoops their little bodies up into his arms
He holds my daughter in his arms and dances with her
He teaches our sons how to work and be polite, how to treat women and their sisters, how to be responsible Priesthood holders, how to be selfless and sincere
He leans on the door frame with a smile on his face just watching me
He wants our home to feel open and accepting to everyone who visits

He sings to our children and me, whether or not he's a good singer
He loves people
He gardens with me, an activity that allows us the opportunity to work hard together and relax together
He reads the scriptures and prays with me every night
He loves deep conversations

He sets his book, newspaper, etc down when approached by one of our children
He'll read Little Women because I love it. And tell me his favorite parts
He delights in making people happy

He reads to the kids before bed each night and prides himself on the fact that he taught them how to read before they started school
He likes to cuddle and laugh and stargaze
He loves to read and talk to me about what he read
He enjoys spending evenings with me on a swinging chair in the backyard



So I'm kind of a romantic. And although I love each of these images, they aren't necessary; I'm merely painting a picture of the husband and father I'm looking for. If you're reading this and feel like it's you . . . . I'm free on Friday

My Happy Place

Recently, I've been spending a lot of time looking at gardens. I've been getting emails from Better Homes and Gardens on how to make mulch, prepare soil, get rid of weeds, make compost, etc, how to plan around this and that.. and I love it.

I'm not usually a stressed person, but sometimes, despite my best efforts, I do get a little overwhelmed with all the necessary things in life that push aside other necessaries and all wanted unnecessaries. I always heard of a happy place, but didn't really have one. When stressed, I'd imagine myself cooking dinner in my future house with sweet, little children (that always tend to look like those curly-haired, rosy-cheeked precious Hobbit children from the Lord of the Rings movies..) pitter-pattering down the hall when Dad comes home from work and kisses me on the cheek. Or I'd picture myself happily working as a part-time PA when the kids are in school, loving it and knowing all the school was worth it. Well, I still picture those things (of course much more of the former) but now I do have a happy place. And it is my future garden.

My garden is very green and lush. I love color and I love flowers, but I'm not sure if they're in this garden. At least not all of it. Tall trees completely shade the entire backyard and the thick canopy casts a cool, serene, green tint. There is a rustling of leaves and the trickle of water; there are a few crooning birds in the morning and maybe even a quiet rush of distant traffic. But no other sound.

There are little paths that wind through the trees to secret places. My favorite: a seating area where my husband and I sit together in puffy patio chairs crowning a shallow, long pool of water that flows off to some other area of the garden. There is a little table between us and a low wall that surrounds the narrow resting area. Another favorite is in the very back corner. It is another pool of cool water, raised to the height of your hips, contained by a moss-covered, dark-stoned wall. This area is very shaded, a shade darker and a degree quieter than the rest of the backyard. The surface of the pool is absolutely covered by algae and other green flora. A Bocca della Verità-esque fountain mounted on a wall embellished with cracked tiles (which are, like everything else in this garden, covered in green) creates the only movement in the still pool and the only glimpse of clear water void of the obscuring greenery.

Well, this is my beautiful, serene, happy place. Welcome.